Sylvia Plath, The Journals of Sylvia Plath (via durianquotes)
Sylvia Plath, The Journals of Sylvia Plath (via durianquotes)
1. Begin your day with love (not technology). Remind yourself of your worthiness before getting out of bed. Breathe in love and breathe out love. Enfold yourself in light. Saturate your being in love.
2. Take time to mediate and journal. Spend time focusing inward daily. Begin with 5 minutes of meditation and 5 minutes of journaling each morning. Gradually increase this time.
3. Talk yourself happy. Use affirmations to train your mind to become more positive. Put a wrist band on your right wrist. When you’re participating in self-abuse of any form, move the band to your left wrist.
4. Get emotionally honest. Let of go of numbing your feelings. Shopping, eating, and drinking are examples of avoiding discomfort, sadness, and pain. Mindfully breathe your way through your feelings and emotions.
5. Expand your interests. Try something new. Learn a language. Go places you’ve never been. Do things you haven’t done before. You have a right to an awesome life.
6. Enjoy life enhancing activities. Find exercise you like. Discover healthy foods that are good for you. Turn off technology for a day and spend time doing things that make you feel alive.
7. Become willing to surrender. Breathe, relax, and let go. You can never see the whole picture. You don’t know what anything is for. Stop fighting against yourself by thinking and desiring people and events in your life should be different. Your plan may be different from your soul’s intentions.
8. Work on personal and spiritual development. Be willing to surrender and grow. Life is a journey. We are here to learn and love on a deeper level. Take penguin steps and life becomes difficult. One step at a time is enough to proceed forward.
9. Own your potential. Love yourself enough to believe in the limitless opportunities available to you. Take action and create a beautiful life for yourself.
10. Be patient with yourself. Let go of urgency and fear. Relax and transform striving into thriving. Trust in yourself, do good work, and the Universe will reward you.
11. Live in appreciation. Train your mind to be grateful. Appreciate your talents, beauty, and brilliance. Love your imperfectly perfect self.
12. Be guided by your intuition. All answers come from within. Look for signs and pay attention to your gut feelings. You’ll hear two inner voices when you need to make a decision. The quiet voice is your higher self; the loud voice is your ego. Always go with the quieter voice.
13. Do what honors and respects you. Don’t participate in activities that bring you down. Don’t allow toxic people in your life. Love everyone, but be discerning on who you allow into your life.
14. Accept uncertainty. Suffering comes from living in the pain of the past or the fear of the future. Put your attention on the present moment and be at peace.
15. Forgive yourself. Learn from your mistakes and go forward. Use this affirmation, “I forgive myself for judging myself for __________ (fill in the blank i.e.: for getting sick, for acting out, for not doing your best.)
16. Discover the power of fun. Self-love requires time to relax, play, and create face-to-face interaction with others. Our fast-paced world creates a goal setting, competitive craziness that doesn’t leave room for play. Dr. Stuart Brow says, “The opposite of play isn’t work, it is depression.”
17. Be real. Speak up and speak out. Allow yourself to be seen, known, and heard. Get comfortable with intimacy (in-to-me-see).
18. Focus on the positive. Go to your heart and dwell on and praise yourself for what you get right in all areas.
19. Become aware of self neglect and rejection. Become conscious of your choices. Ask yourself several times throughout the day, “Does this choice honor me?”
20. Imagine what your life would look like if you believed in your worth. Dedicate your life to loving you. Make it your main event.
21. Seek professional help. Self-rejection and neglect is painful. You deserve to be happy. You have a right to be accepted and loved. If necessary, seek help from a support group, counselor, or coach. It’s the best investment you can make.
Quiet your own voice. Don’t do or say anything even mildly transgressive for fear of looking, sounding, or feeling ridiculous. Don’t make any definitive statements; keep your sketches and bad poetry confined to a journal and shake your head vehemently if someone asks to see. Suppress your good ideas because what, they wouldn’t make a difference anyway. Second guess yourself at every turn and make yourself believe you have nothing to offer.
Have every day, month, and year planned out to the letter — treat life like an endless to-do list and leave no room for deviation. Feel like you always have to be doing “something productive” before you feel like you’re worth anything. Get crushed under the insistent weight of small things. Feel weird about having free time and feel at loss for what to do with yourself when you actually get it.
Have no idea what the hell you’re doing, ever — treat life like a giant question-mark-shaped water slide and slide down it without a prayer. Cave under the unavoidable facts of things; surrender to the vast senselessness of the universe and feel too small, too insignificant and so give up trying and just coast on. Spend melty hours smoking joints making vague plans and nodding in agreement; promptly forget what was said the next day.
Go out all the time because being alone in an empty house makes you feel stagnant and cold-sweaty. Purge your thoughts and feelings, drug your frustration drown your apprehension and repeat the tired “you only live once” mantra to make yourself feel less thrown. Put your own goals on the back burner and promise yourself tomorrow to block out the sticky vagueness of subterranean anxiety.
Stay in all the time because going out takes too much effort and there’s nothing new to see out there anyway. Plod around in dirty PJs from the sunken couch to the kitchen and back, turn on the TV and flip through the channels hating absolutely everything even though you’ve got a half-finished novel or project sitting right there, but meh. Sigh and chew something without tasting it, drop your feet on the table so heavily your heels hurt.
Have a type and stick to it. Only read books that agree with your ideology, only date people who share your background, opinions, interests, and schedule. Treat potential partners less like people and more like furniture; judge them on how well they fit into your life and complement what you’ve done with it. Stop being curious and start feeling very tired and fed up.
Buy into things. Take advice from self-righteous self-help books and diets that tell you to eat less fruit and more chemical protein powder. Follow trends, adhere to standards, bleach your teeth your hair and your asshole because that’s what it takes to be attractive, maybe. Get personally involved in people who have no knowledge of or interest in you whatsoever. Buy clothes that don’t even fit, sweat and ache over them and curse your genetics and your higher power.
Categorize and trivialize. Classify yourself and everyone, stay tight in your comfort zone and be the first to point a finger at people who move from theirs. Reduce human expression and emotion to gifs and blanket statements, drop things you don’t understand instead of trying to understand them, rely on cards to express your sentiments and songs to express your feelings. Buy everything pre-made and pre-packaged because you’re too damn busy to create your own life. Forget what handwriting looks like. Forget what ecstasy feels like. Forget you are capable.
It’s healing for both ourselves and for our community. It’s an act of resistance in and of its self as well. Telling our stories helps ourselves understand ourselves better. Telling our stories helps our communities understand experiences and histories that may have thus far been untold.
Telling our stories together helps start movements to end that which as oppressed us and caused us pain. Telling our stories helps to heal ourselves, our communities, and the world.
Real fucking talk
I have desires. Sometimes it seems like the world doesn’t have enough room for my desires and that I have chosen the life of a woman who is difficult to love.
Its hard to understand that this is just my life right now. Its hard to understand that I am not a flawed, undesirable person.
Today I went to a yoga class and the teacher talked about sacrifice. I’m not a fan of the term but she also explained it as doing something selfless, something for the benefit of others. How can we practice or do whatever we do to benefit others?
I thought about accepting my body and my physical appearance, and my ongoing struggle with feeling ugly. It is exaggerated when I feel rejected by men. My own low self-worth is exaggerated when any type of rejection is even implied.
I’m always dreaming about loving myself unconditionally, but it is so difficult. Lately the big issue has been acne, especially a large bump that is on the side of my nose and has been there for almost two months now.
It doesn’t really matter so much about my skin specifically, although it has motivated me to do a lot of research on holistic emotional and physical health lately, and I am taking much better care of myself. I know that if the bump or acne wasn’t there, I would find something else to focus on and berate myself over. Some potential targets might include my stomach, my chest, my face, my teeth, my calves, etc. Really, this is a bigger problem than just accepting one chunk of myself.
I dream about being able to move in the world without feeling the male gaze burning my skin, particularly in public or in spaces with people I am attracted to.
I dream of a time when I am so unashamedly me, and when the opinions of others do not weigh so heavily on my heart. When I can have acne or fat or hair or dorky clothes or a double chin and none of that matters to me.
Today I thought maybe this was a dream to keep fighting for because I wish I knew more women who lived their lives that way, so I could be that brave. Because I am eternally grateful for the ones that I do know.
Maybe its worth it to love myself for what I am so that I can love everyone else for what they are and encourage them to do the same. Maybe I can convince myself to work harder at it because the people I love are worth it, because women are worth it, because every little girl who has ever come and gone is worth it.
Even if I still struggle to convince myself that I am worth it.
Try practicing saying No. See what happens. Its like learning how to scream. A lot of people might not understand why a woman in her twenties is learning how to say No, but I believe many, many others will know all too well what I’m talking about.
I would argue that caring for your body in traditional ways- like eating a healthy diet, exercising, and taking your vitamins- may be the least important part of your health. (I know! Radical idea coming from a doctor!)
This may sound shocking to you. After all, you’ve probably watched many other doctors get on television to tell you that your health is all about using food as medicine, getting enough exercise, and avoiding bad habits. I’m not suggesting that those aren’t great health-inducing behaviors. What I’m saying is that it doesn’t matter how great your diet is if your body is flooded with stress hormones! No amount of kale is going to counterbalance the toxic effects of high levels of cortisol and epinephrine on your body.
So what’s the most important part of your health? The nature of your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. When your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings are positive, relaxation responses are activated, healing hormones like oxytocin, dopamine, nitric oxide, and endorphins are released, and the body’s natural self-repair mechanisms are activated, allowing the body to do what it does best-heal itself.
- Lissa Rankin, M.D
what’s that? It’s healthier to love your body than to spend every minute hating it and wanting to fundamentally change it but being stressed that you can’t actually change your body into some chiseled piece of perfectly oiled machinery like the media sells us?